Friday, June 25, 2010

Because I haven't written one in a long time.

Summertime. It has finally arrived.

I've been SO BUSY lately it's hard to find time to make time to do things I've wanted/want to do.

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If so, continue reading...

I recently found time (as in pre-planned way ahead of time) a trip to visit my best friend.

This past weekend I went up to San Francisco with Vanessa to visit Caitie and Loyd, her boyfriend and I'm sure future husband, in their new studio apartment. It is absolutely adorable and I am more than jealous that she is so happy - whatta girl I am. But of course, I'm positively thrilled for her. She's doing really well and thriving in a place I know I couldn't live after visiting so many times (or could I?) To see my best friend in such a state is a blessing. Their apartment is pretty small, I'd say around 500 square feet or so. Once you open the door you're in their bedroom/living room - if that sizes up the picture. They have a tiny kitchen with a bar, which I think is really cool, a nice sized bathroom and plenty of closet space. They even have a teeny vanity room, which is more like the little hallway to the bathroom. Still, it's very cozy and perfect for a couple.

The visit was very pleasant. We, and I mean all four of us, spent the ENTIRE time talking, and playing Mario Kart among other things (they don't have cable or internet). We hardly did anything other than sit around and talk in fact. Surprisingly, there isn't much to do in San Francisco. At least for twenty-year-old "adults" who also happen to be broke college students. However, we did go out to eat a lot and took a long walk downtown on Saturday which was great because the weather, for once, was PERFECT. I had taken Declan, my Nikon D3000 with me, but being me, I forgot to charge him before leaving and so have no photographs to speak of except for a few mobile shots. We were only there for two nights and two days because scheduling off work is near damn impossible, but it doesn't really matter now since Caitie is back in Fontana. I am overjoyed over this. In fact, I went over to her house the other day and had me some family Towne time. I've missed my second family.

To back track, there is one meaningful thing I got out of this visit to San Fran. I've known for awhile now that Caitie has changed - because, well, she lives with Loyd and has her own life in SF and so is bound to change a little. I don't mean personality wise or anything...more like...well, it feels as if Caitie is married. As funny as that sounds, it's not something I'm used to yet. I hadn't seen her since winter break (which was just a horrible, drama filled time), but we spent more time alone then because of all the drama, etc so I wasn't able to see the Married Caitie side of her very much. But in SF I did. Caitie and Loyd are ALMOST like one person. Of course, apart they are very much themselves but it's obvious that there is that "special bond" that's more than just a boyfriend-girlfriend bond. I've come to terms that Caitie is not going to be the person I do "Single" things with. We're never going to go clubbing or on a cruise with just the girls (well, maybe, but it's not going to be the same since she's "married") or any of the other random things I saw us doing five years ago. She's turning into the Married One of the group while I'm straggling behind, not necessarily trying to catch up (I'm twenty after all!) but searching for a similar lifestyle in the end. For some reason, it upsets me. Not a great deal...I guess it's more of a downer. I know I can talk to Caitie about guys, relationships, love, etc but now it's going to be just me who's single while Caitie's the one in a relationship that's probably going to lead to marriage. This is another thing I've come to terms with. Before, I had my reasons for not liking Loyd. Now, I've accepted him and I actually do think that they're good for each other. Still, being her best friend, I'll always be a bit worried over how things will pan out but as it stands I see it panning out rather nicely. Because I so strongly believe the two will be married, that means Loyd is going to be a rather big part of my life. After all, he will be married to my best friend. I just hope that by the time I catch up to where Caitie is that everything can mesh nicely together. Now that I'm twenty, I'm realizing that a lot of things are going to happen in the next couple years that are going to be HUGE. One, a career. Two, hopefully a family. These are daunting matters, and I'm a bit frazzled over them. Even though I'm barely twenty, I've always been the type to think ahead - far ahead. To me, these things aren't far enough away for me not to think about them often. After college, will Caitie and Loyd get married? Will I be with someone? Will Vanessa? Will my other close friends be single or in a relationship? Will I have a stable job? Where will I be living? With who? Will I have kids? Will Caitie have kids? Will we be living close to one another? These don't stress me out in any way. In fact, I look forward to what the future holds but at the same time I think about the future far more than I ever did before.

All I can do is wait and see.

And anyone who knows me knows that patience is not my stronghold.