The Airborne Toxic Event - "Changing"
The Black Keys - "I Got Mine"
I am impressed, Radio. Highly impressed. Thank you for putting these songs on the airwaves, particularly "I Got Mine" (even though it came out in like '08, first time I've ever heard it on the radio - probably because of their hit "Tighten Up," and I actually listen to the radio dutifully.) Just the kind of music I like crusing along to with my sunglasses on, sunshine kissing my much-too-pale face. In fact, I only wear sunglasses when I want to look cool (and/or like an asshole), so big kudos to The Black Keys. Because they always make me want to wear some Ray Bans. It's so weird, I despise sunglasses and I live in Southern California AND I'm a lifeguard. But I just don't like the contraptions.
Anyway, this post isn't so much about the good, new music I've been discovering lately (even though there are quite a few songs I've grown very attached to and aren't necessarily "new"), it's more...and here's the out of the blue part...about all this drama going on in my life.
Well, most of it isn't mine. And that's probably the part I hate the most. Here's my piece: If you have a secret, then why would you tell someone your secret? If it's something you don't want anyone to know, then don't tell a soul. That's really what a secret is. Now I'll tell you what a secret is after you've told someone - gossip. Honestly. Don't tell anyone something you don't want someone to know - ever. If someone tells me a secret, I do my best to keep my mouth shut. First of all, it's none of my business (even though you now dragged me into your business). But keeping secrets is hard, and most people are going to tell at least one other person. Sometimes it stays in the bag, other times, it spirals out of control. But if it's a secret that's poisonous, disgusting, then...is it your duty to let someone know about it? No one wants to be the bearer of bad news. No one. Let's just say I hope this secret is revealed by the teller before too long, because if it's revealed to the person you're trying to keep it from it should be by the teller before anyone else. But enough about secrets.
Josh and I aren't talking, again, at the moment. This is nothing new. It happened in January. But I am not letting it happen again. I need space. But more than me needing space, it's he who needs space. He's too attached and I'm worried that he's never going to move on and meet another girl. He's stuck to me like glue - or was. It's honestly my fault. Because of everything going on in his life, I felt it was my duty as his best friend to always be there for him, to take care of him. But that's not my job. He's going to be 22 soon. He is a grown ass man, and I don't know what I was thinking trying to shelter him so much from all the junk going on in his life. It's sad to say, but sometimes a person needs to deal with their misfortune on their own - there's just no other way to grow stronger if you're relying on someone else to be strong for you.
I'm always there to be his escape. He can't drive. He doesn't have money. It's not his fault either. But I can't always be his escape. And I let myself be that for too long - and it's only made it worse.
I'm hoping this time around it will be different. That I can be there, but not always. I can be there when he needs me most, but not at any given time.
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