Saturday, August 13, 2011

I'm Sorry.

Has there ever been a phrase so potentially unmeaning and cruel? I can't think of anything next to "I love you," can you?

I think that "I'm sorry" is one of the most thrown around phrases in the human language. People say it in response to something negative. In response, unthinkingly. Not necessarily after musing it over for a lengthy period of time. They say it just to make the other person calm down, essentially hoisting the white flag of surrender.

Where did all this animosity against the phrase come from? From an "argument" with my best friend Josh, if you can call it that, hence the quotation marks. Of course there is a lot of history going into this entry about why Josh reacted in such a way, but explaining it is beyond my capacity at the moment.

Simply, I was supposed to go camping this weekend and now I am not. In fact, I'm as far away from camping as I can be, typing away on a laptop computer plugged into an electrical outlet, sitting Indian-style on my queen-sized bed underneath a roof.

Josh and I were supposed to go camping with our old swim team, the Barracudas, but after he got mad at me for supposedly "forgetting" about how we were supposed to hang out Thursday, I cancelled my plans to go with him and the team. One, we had hung out the day before. And two, I never said we weren't going to hang out, only that I could for a few hours to which he replied that he had planned on us going to the beach. Take note that I wouldn't have gotten out of work until 5pm and also that he never told me his beachy plans. He was acting like a jealous boyfriend, again, and I wasn't going to have it. It made me so, so close to just walking away from the death trap that is our friendship, but after talking with my mom I realized, again, that it's hard for someone with feelings to drop them at the door every time they hang out. I understand. I've been there. But it still doesn't make up for the fact that he is annoyingly possessive of my time and outright unreasonable when it comes to me trying to reason with him. He chose this.

I know I sound like a tool. But it's annoying when he blows his top the day before something that's supposed to be really fun and enjoyable. I've been looking forward to this camping trip for a month, and sure, I could have gone, but that meant spending the weekend with a horrible grouch. I opted out.

Of course, he always comes around. He apologized this morning and invited me on a beach trip for today (Saturday). I was almost going to take him up on it since I have absolutely nothing at all planned for today now, but I refused. Call me stubborn, or call me a trying friend. Maybe that camping trip just wasn't meant to happen, or maybe I'm still mad about it and won't accept his apology. Or maybe it's both. I think it's wrong he's shrugging it off and replacing it with an invitation; I didn't want to go to the beach, I wanted to go to the mountains. Now I sound like a five-year-old.

I overreacted at first, but now I'm cooling off.

Is it the phrase "I'm sorry" that's misused most or "I'm fine?"

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I'm obsessed with Best Coast and this fantastic music video. Go Drew Barrymore!

I want a Night Creeper jacket so bad. And Chloe Grace Moretz is so gorgeous.

"I wish he was my boyfrienddddd"

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Photo by leah miraballin' via Flickr.

The title of this entry is inspired (stolen?) by the film Crazy, Stupid, Love starring Steve Carell and indie darling Ryan Gosling. I didn't particularly want to watch this movie even though I think Steve Carell is hilarious and Ryan Gosling ridiculously attractive, but after venturing into the theater on my half hour break at work, I was immediately persuaded to see it (which I did with Vanessa today). This isn't a movie review but it was definitely a pleasant surprise, and I'd recommend it to all those romantics out there - funny, real, cute.

Like I was saying, this post isn't about the movie. It's mostly just about how I felt after watching the movie. I've always believed in soulmates. In fact, I believe in soulmates of different calibers; not just romance-wise but also friendship-wise. I believe my best friend Caitie is my soulmate. I know she is. There's just no one who can get me like she does. And I'm not sure if there ever will be. But I also believe in soulmates romance-wise.

I want to meet a boy who has a record player in his house and puts on The Turtles' "Happy Together" and who takes me in his arms with utmost care.

I want that. So badly. I want something I'm not even sure I'm capable of having. I know I'm capable of having a "normal relationship." Hell, I have had a normal relationship. That's not what I'm looking for - but I'm glad I experienced it. I haven't felt sizable chemistry with someone since Daniel - and I know that I will one day - but at times I doubt if I can have that immediate response to anyone - I didn't even have an immediate response to him. But we did have chemistry.

Often times I've thought of launching a dating site where everything is based on a person's musical interests. Random. And arguable considering that would be filed under musical interests, presumably, on dating sites anyway. But music, to me, tells a lot about a person. I love the idea of meeting someone as familiar with The Beatles and Creedence Clearwater Revival songs and Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin hits as I am. I'd probably fall in love immediately. As crazy as that sounds. For some reason I feel a little blue about the whole situation...

I really don't know why, but it's bound to happen from time to time. I just miss being in love.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

San Diego Comic-Con International 2011

I went to Comic Con yesterday with my friends Cindy and Carlos. It was nerdtastic! We left around 5:45am to drive to San Diego for the event (we live about an hour and 45 minutes away). Registration went by way quicker than I was anticipating and we grabbed our first piece of swag: The Comic Con Bag (picture to come). Luckily, we were all able to get the one for Batman: Arkham City (others were stuck with Supernatural or other not-as-cool ones, even though I was hoping for the Justice League bag).

Getting into the convention center was equitable with being in a huge crowd of people who were trying to run away from a massive hoard of zombies. Think stampede. Once inside, it didn't get much better. Think Tokyo subway terminal.

Alas, this was what I was expecting. Rubbing up against fellow nerds and fighting to snatch up super cool freebies. What I wasn't expecting: not being able to see any panels. The lines were redunkulous and most of the people in them had been there since the doors opened. We decided to make our way to the booths we wanted to see most and then squeeze our way through to the others. Next time I'm thinking wait in line to see the panel I want to see most first, then fight my way to the booths. Even though we hit the booths we wanted to see most first, the swag we wanted to get had already been given away or sold the previous days. Big bummer. Next time I'm thinking go on Friday versus Saturday or maybe even Preview Night and Friday night and turn it into a mini vacation of sorts. But that's only if I'm able to get tickets like I was lucky enough to this year.

It was actually pretty tough to capture good shots of anything considering there were a bajillion people trying to do the same thing and I kept getting jostled around by passerby, but I snapped a few shots before storing my poor Nikon for good. Declan got a few scratches on her viewing screen. I'm very distraught about procrastinating and not buying her a screen protector. : ( Nevertheless, here are a few of the pictures I did take (Blogger minimizes them so you'll have to click on them for a better view).

Nananana Batman, Batman! Or should I say Lego Batman. : )

Halo's one of my favorite video games (no doubt I play this one the most) so when I saw these unreleased action figures I geeked out. I'd love to have the Spartan holding the rocket launcher.

I love Bleach (even though it's an extraordinarily long anime) and I wanted all of these action figures. They were incredibly detailed.

All I can say is: Hell yes.

The game on my to-buy list after Gears of War 3. People playing Resident Evil: Raccoon City. It looked badass.

I'll update this when I'm not as sleepy. ; )

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I have been kindling this obsession with swim suits for awhile now. Summer in California? I mean, how can I not drool over the opportunity to wear these beauties! dELiAs is having a great summer sale with some very cute swimsuits and I want to buy pretty much all of them. I know I'll snatch up at least one. Here are a few of my favorites.

I have yet to add a polka dotted bikini to my collection. I mean doesn't every girl need to own a yellow polka dot bikini?

I'm a huge fan of one pieces and I adore the back and front of this one. Imagine the cool tan lines you'd get!

I've never owned a tankini but I loved the cinched up sides on this one, although I'd probably get it in a solid color versus polka dotted.

Besides dELiAs I also find these old style (my favorite!) swimsuits to be very chic and very out of a poor college student's price range unfortunately.

Via Anthropologie (

Via ModCloth (

Via ModCloth (

Via Greedy Girl ( by Hayden Harnett (

Updates, updates, updates!

I must point out that my last post was my 100th one, and a rather spiteful 100th post at that. In all seriousness, I just posted some song lyrics that had been spiraling around in my cranium for awhile and didn't even notice it would be my 100th post. But, wow! 100 posts on this little blog of mine, how quaint. All my mumbo jumbo and random tidbits have finally compiled into something somewhat impressive. Since I've never been able to keep a diary - this being the closest thing I have to one, I am very proud of myself. A good pat on the back for Grace.

Now, moving on...

I saw the midnight show of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 with my best friend and posse and let me tell you: HUGE disappointment. I can't believe Harry Potter fans actually accepted it let alone liked it. They barely kept to the book and changed things around for no apparent reason, not to mention changing the climax of the entire book series. I must rant and for that reason I alert those who aren't familiar with the books to leave straight away.

First of all, I was fine with the first half of the movie, up until after Gringotts. I thought the part when Harry and gang were staying with Bill and Fleur pretty good, minus the talk they had with Ollivander. He never tells Harry that he won't succeed! But I digress, I could overlook that little interesting bit they decided to include.

Then, when Harry meets Aberforth. A part in the book that is highly amazing and awesome and shocking and interesting because you've been reading up until this point how little about Dumbledore Harry (and essentially you) knew in reality. Aberforth is horribly introduced and the story about how Ariana was actually killed not even told! How could you not include that? It adds such depth to the story. When Harry arrives back to Hogwarts, it only gets worse. The director decides to make Harry look like a complete idiot. Harry's the one who's supposed to realize who to find to figure out where the Lost Diadem of Ravenclaw is, not Luna! I don't want to even get into the whole scene in the Room of Requirement either...

Also, we miss the whole battle of Hogwarts pretty much. We get the beginning (where Neville stupidly taunts snatchers which doesn't happen and for some reason he is still there when the barrier is brought down), Fred's horribly shot death (I wasn't even aware that he was dying in that scene) - and the end where everyone is super jolly, laughing, having a cup of Jo, oh, and Percy is randomly seen in the background (guess he must have returned, then?) I mean, there was so much material in the book the director could have gotten to make the battle of Hogwarts the epic battle it truly was meant to be! From including Grawp and the house elves and Peeves battling to showing the individuals we Harry Potter fans are so fond of fighting it out with our most hated Death Eaters.

Then there's the part when Snape dies and Harry finds out the truth, shot not in the Shrieking Shack (which would have made perfect sense!) but in a random glasshouse! Why?! When so much history happened in the Shrieking Shack? Harry's dive into the pensieve is another issue I have but I'll gloss over it and move on: It was awful.

Then the part with the Resurrection Stone. I felt no emotional pull at all during that scene when it was supposed to be the most heart-wrenching feeling I was supposed to be experiencing. Harry accepts his death. I open at the close. And I feel nothing. Then of course there's King's Cross. Dumbledore says some heavy and very Dumbledore-y things in that discourse but it came across as simply strange and confusing.

Finally, the climax. Harry and Voldemort start dueling...and the entire time Harry says nothing to him while battling when in the book he is saying the best lines in the entire book, calling him Tom Riddle instead of Voldemort, explaining to him that Snape had actually betrayed him and how he, Harry, actually holds the Elder Wand and how it came to be the Elder wand, defending Dumbledore, telling him this was his last chance, etc. But, no. Instead they fly through the air, clutching onto each others faces (what?) and playing jedi mind tricks until Voldemort turns into gray tissue paper.

Once the "finale" is over everything just turns back to normal. It wasn't like Harry just defeated the Dark Lord or anything. And then Harry, Ron, and Hermione are on the bridge instead of Dumbledore's office (stupid!) figuring out what to do with the Elder Wand. Harry doesn't snap it like in the movie. He uses it to fix his own broken wand "Reparo" and then says he's going to put it back where it came from, looking at Dumbledore's smiling portrait in his office.

Anyway, that was my rant. I'm sure I missed a few things, but one last thing I didn't like about the movie was how comical they made it seem, there were way too many jokes flying around at some of the most pinnacle points in the movie. Not that it would have made a difference since they butchered it anyway. But come on.

It received a big fat F in my opinion.

Moving on from Harry Potter...

I went to Universal Studios on Saturday and it was really fun! I haven't been there since I was probably seven or eight. So much of it has changed! We went on every single ride and attended every single show in one day. My friend Guido and I even participated in one of the shows: Special Effects. It was pretty embarrassing to be honest but we were pressured to get involved (we even had to sign waivers). My friend Guido had to dress up in an astronaut costume and get attached to some wires and I was going to control him with a remote (imagine my anxiety). What I didn't know was that he'd be switched out of the costume and replaced with a double and that my remote control actually wasn't the one controlling "Guido." I caught on eventually but I looked pretty stupid up there freaking out that my friend was doing back-flips and supposedly flipping out on some wires. And of course the lady kept asking us if we were dating, etc. how much more embarrassing could it get?! Still, it was a fun time : )

Then on Sunday my shift got cancelled (praise Jesus!) and I took full advantage of it and dragged my BGF to see a free Pacific Dub concert with me at The Slidebar in Fullerton. It was my first time ordering drinks at a bar. I freaked out when the bartender asked me if I was going to order more drinks to which I said I was and then held hostage my driver's license and card. Now I know what opening a tab means at least. Pacific Dub were amazing! And we got to meet the guys! They were all so cool and super friendly! All of them are twenty except the drummer who's my age, which was weird to find out. They signed their newest EP for us and a cool poster Josh and I agreed we'd have shared custody of (they only accepted cash). It was a super fun Sunday and made me depressed to think I was back to my boring work days come Monday.

I've also been working on a DIY project for my best friend Caitie's birthday (this Friday) - I know it will come out cool. I'll post pictures when I find the time.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Not Like You

Once I knew you well
So well I thought, so right I knew
You were that one who held me tight
Let me know when I was wrong
That I wasn't alone

So now when you see me
Now that you're over it
Do you even realize what you've done
You've got other girls on your mind
You've got some fucking nerve
Asking me to care
Just who do you think you are

I thought I knew you, I thought you were so right
But you were so wrong
That false sense of humility
That queasy smile and worn out grin

No, it doesn't suit you baby
No, it's not like you baby

So now when you see me
Now that you're over it
Do you even realize what you've done
You've got other girls on your mind
You've got some fucking nerve
Asking me to care
Just who do you think you are