Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Josh texted me today apologizing for everything. We're meeting up in a couple days. Joy!


  1. well I hope it all gets back to "normal" between you guys... it's a pretty tough situation though...and it saddens me that I am technically in Josh's shoes so I don't think this is ever going to pass. At least not for him. If he genuinely loves you..he is going to be left with just trying to be the best friend that he can but having to hide the true feelings boiling underneath. It's possible but just not fun. I wish you both the best though and now I am interested in reading that book...sounds interesting even though I think I already know all that that you summarized for us.

  2. I hope things go back to normal as well...I still haven't met up with him so I don't know how things will be "in person." But it just makes me sad to realize that things won't be how they used to. & wow, I had no idea you were in that situation...is it with Rigo? I don't know how it can be possible. At some point, I was in a similar situation but he ended up treating me so disrespectfully I couldn't stand to have a person like him in my life. Still, I hope things work out. And that book is very interesting, if you take the time to read it you might find yourself enlightened.

  3. Yes, with Rigo. I've come a long way but still I have my moments where I get drawn back to the jealousy & need/want for him :shrugs: & it's weird because I can honestly say I wouldn't date him again even if he wanted to because he is not the Rigo I knew but at the same time I can't look at a single picture or thing from our time without thinking could it be possible again? so yea..tough. Lots of my friends who know every single story say I need to cut him out of my life completely but I just can't do that..and he says I am his bestfriend (along with Sparky&robert)plus, Im so attached to his family. But maybe someday Ill fall for someone else & that will be the end to me thinking about Rigo...even if it's not so often anymore.

    I'll try and check out the book once I get some order in my life..I have like 5 books on my dresser not even 1/2 way done.

  4. Wow...I had no idea. The fact that you're still in this battle, still friends with Rigo, shows me a lot. I know how it feels to love somebody that's no longer the person you fell in love with - it's like they're a shell of that person, almost like a ghost, and that you can't let go even though you know it would be easier. Josh came over the other night...the moment he stepped through the door I could feel he wanted to end our friendship. I was scared. By the end of the night though, he changed his mind. He said he was close to just ending it but that he wasn't going to. I don't know why. I just know that his mom saved me. She told him not to let me go, that it would be hard but not to lose me. That just about made me cry. I've hurt her son on more than one occasion and she still considers me apart of the family. I don't deserve it, and I just want to be the best friend I can to Josh without hurting him in the process. I want him to move on, find another. I want to help him. But it's not in my hands. I'm still not in the safe zone.

    And I'm convinced you'll find that special one that will turn thoughts of Rigo into only fond memories, minus the semi-longing/wondering.

    Lol. And I'm like you. I have a stack of books I still need to get through.