I FINALLY did it. AGAIN. And if you think I'm referring to breaking up with Daniel...that would be correct! I know, I know. What's going on with me? I seem so...happy? Well, that's because I am. Yes, I am happy. And, no, I am not in denial. Thank God. That was when I WAS in the relationship. No event occurred for this incident, nothing at all was out of the ordinary. It was just time to finally end it. We had given it a second try and it had failed. Today was the day to cut it off for good. When we got back together doubts immediately plagued my mind, and though I tried to shoo them away, I knew that we would eventually be back to this exact spot. We needed to break up in order for US to be happy. I know it may not make sense to some, but for those in our situation, it makes perfect sense. We had lost that "loving feeling" and it had been gone for some time. My worst fear came true! Back in the "golden days" I had had so many plans for our future. There were times he would even ask if I would fancy being his wife. And I had indeed fancied being such a thing, escaping to La La Land and envisioning us forever happy. Looking back I have to laugh. Husband and wife? Yeah, right! We're nothing but the closest of friends now. My "old feelings" from when we used to be in love held me back from seeing the truth. We had changed. Our feelings had changed. We weren't lovers. We were friends. When we first broke up I was in tears; it was so sad to me the state we were in and how much had changed from the beginning. And, yes, it is sad. But this time around I didn't shed a tear. I knew that this was best for us both. I was absolutely relieved after I confessed my feelings. It felt like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. There's so much more to come for both of us and the beautiful thing is, we can still enjoy it together. We ended on such a good note I don't see us drifting apart from one another anytime soon. He's my best friend. And he'll remain my best friend.
May 28, 2008-December 10, 2009.
"I had the time of my life, and I owe it all to you."