Monday, May 23, 2011
To Build a Home
I absolutely adore this song. I stumbled across it when I clicked on Blue Lily Photography's website (GORGEOUS portraits *drool*). It just makes you feel so relaxed and happy/melancholy! I know that's a contradiction...but it does!
Also, it's almost three in the morning but I am craving breakfast already! I've been trying this new diet my mom was introduced to by one of her employees. You buy Naked Juice's Green Machine (which alone is pretty fantastic), process celery and whatever other greens you like into the juice and add this seed mix (which you can find a bag of at your local Mexican grocery store like El Super), most notably filled with cactus seed - or I'm sure you can even just use Chia seed. Then you add some orange juice. The "shake" isn't all too bad, especially if you let it sit overnight. It really does curb your appetite. The only problem is that it curbs it so much that I don't get hungry until around 3 or 4 depending on how much energy I'm spending (before I had dinner at 7 or 8, even as late as 9) - to which I eat whatever I feel like, but since I'm an insomniac the night time munchies really get to me. I had a cup of cereal around midnight and now I'm hungry again. All the diet books say going to sleep early is key to losing weight. And I truly understand why. You're so tempted to sneak into the kitchen to grab a coined "midnight snack" it's ludicrous - especially when you've already had one! One of my favorite bloggers, Design Mom (www.designmom.com), posted this video from Vimeo on her blog and I've been re-watching it every so often for the last hour. (I know, I'm not exactly helping myself.)
Also, I've noted I don't really follow up so well in my blog. Often times I'll say I'll write down what happens after something ensues but I rarely do. Mostly because I completely forget to. So with regards to feeling defeated, I've come to terms that struggling in school is simply something I have to accept and overcome. I'm not sure if I can do anything about it this quarter since it's almost over, but there's always next quarter. And I know it won't happen again. I simply won't allow it - and by God's grace, I know He won't let me allow it to happen again either.
Summer fast approaches and I'm feeling anxious. As a swim teacher, I'm looking to tackle teaching morning AND evening lessons this summer - I need the money to pay for school and loans and have some leftover for summer fun of course. However, the hours have changed. Morning lessons are from 9am-1pm and evening lessons are from 5pm-7:30pm. The latter seems ridiculous to me. What parent would subject their child to swim lessons between 7pm-7:30pm (swim lessons are half hour sessions)? Isn't that when they should be going to sleep? Okay, I'm being facetious, but that means the pool won't close until 9:30pm since evening swim (for the public) will open at 7:30pm. I don't know what the city is thinking or why they changed it, but I don't like the new hours at all. Also, the pool I typically work at isn't opening until June 11th. Which is fine since school doesn't let out until June 17th and I didn't plan on working until after I'm done with finals anyway. Still, I'm bummed about getting out of school so late. I'll be missing out on almost the entire month of June. I only have until September 4th to make good money before the pools close again and then it's back to my meager salary at AMC (which I'll still be working at on weekends so I don't lose my yearlong job). Speaking of AMC, I desperately want to find a better job, even just a different job. I've probably mentioned this before? Working at the movies has its perks (free movies not only for you but for family and 'a friend' - though you can sometimes get away with bringing more than one) but I've been working there since 2009. It's time to move on. So once the pool closes I'll be job hunting for a better/different job so that I can expand my resume - and escape from the annoying clutches of AMC! (Of course, I am thankful I have a job(s) at all.) On top of juggling those two jobs, I'll still be tutoring William as well as teaching him to swim along with two of his friends. I'll be doing that Mondays and Wednesdays between morning and evening lessons, 2pm-4pm. My amazing pupil has picked up reading like a pro - we're slowly venturing into reading "big kid books" like "There is a Bird on Your Head!" by Mo Willems (great and hilarious kid's author if you have a child's sense of humor); I'm afraid he won't need me much longer (*tear*)! Teaching little William the joys of reading is very exciting and rewarding not only for him but for me as well. I can't (and at the same time CAN) wait until I have kids of my own. It's going to be so fun teaching them to read and sharing my love for books with them.
That brings me to my next subject. Everyday I pine to move out and start a life of my own with my own place to decorate and love and make mine. The song "To Build a Home" is perfect because that's what I want: to build a home. I was talking to my friend the other day and she was telling me about her boyfriend not being motivated to move out. Neither of us could understand it, but while we were talking I had an epiphany. I've had plans to move out for awhile. Unfortunately, I don't have the means to make that into reality. However, once I graduate and find a stable job naturally I will have the means (I better!). HOWEVER...I've realized that everyone that has their own place has it with their significant other. Some of my friends in college still have roommates, but a lot of my friends live together with their boyfriends or girlfriends. By the time I graduate and get myself situated, finding a roommate I know and trust could be a hassle - considering my friends will most likely move in with their boyfriends or girlfriends after they graduate. I've realized I'm probably not going to move out until I have a boyfriend. And that bums me out. One, because that's not what I want at the moment (and the decision to move-in, etc takes time to develop and make happen - or at least should) and two, because I want to live with my friends. I know I could probably (expensively) live on my own, but I wouldn't like to. Living by myself just SOUNDS lonely. And don't get me wrong, I love my alone time. But...not everyday. I just wouldn't want to. I don't know when I'll get to build a home. I guess I'll just have to be patient. Like ALWAYS. Darnnabbit.