I swear, if the world were coming to an end with all hell breaking loose but Jack Johnson was singing peacefully away into my Skullcandy reggae-inspired earbuds I wouldn't mind it...well, at least not as much.
Lately I've been feeling really mopey. I don't know why. I mean, it's really a myriad of things. The typical I miss my friends-school stress-where the hell is my life headed?! junk, but this mood has been sticking to me like stripes on a damn Zebra. I really hope it goes away.
Today was the first time I've been to church in about 2 months. I feel horrible about that fact. And my life really starts spinning out of control when I stop going. It's not because I haven't wanted to - I really have wanted to - but I've been getting scheduled to work most Sundays and, after much fooling around on Saturdays, I fall wayward and sleep in when I should go to church.
...So maybe my desires need to sort themselves out...
When God is first in my life, even if my life is falling to pieces, I feel like I can conquer anything - and I do with His help, even if it takes a long time.
Today's sermon really made me think about things. Where my priorities should fall. How I need to control myself more.
I'm ashamed to say that I haven't been putting God first in my life lately. I've been putting myself first, getting into the foolish mentality that a person pulls themselves up by their own bootstraps.
How stupid. Human beings, despite their accomplishments, are weaklings. We need help, and it's probably the stupidest thing to admit that you don't, or, NEVER need help. I like to think of a person who doesn't know how to swim being pushed in a pool who has such a philosophy on life. What's the first thing they're going to scream to the lifeguard on duty? "HELP ME!"
It's the same in life.
Right now, I need help getting my priorities straight. And I'll yell and scream "Help me!" to God with no shame whatsoever. He always saves the day.